Thursday, April 16, 2009

Some Dumbest Thing You’ve Ever Heard Anyone Say

1. YnaKi - An Eat Bulaga contestant was asked by Joey and Vic: “Ano sa Tagalog ang grasshopper?” Contestant: “Ahmm. . .Huling Hapunan?”

2. Idlepsych - It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said this: “Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff…”

3. Myckle Mouse - In Wowowee, the question was: “Kung ang ’sigaw’ ay ’shout’ sa Inggles, ano naman sa Tagalog ang ‘whisper’?” The contestant answered: “Napkin!”

4. Dongster - While watchng the news yesterday about a kid killed by a bulldozer, our maid commented: “Kaya ayoko mag-alaga ng aso eh…”

5. No name - My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: “Imagine mo kung di ginawa ‘tong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?”

6. Ker - My cousin at a DRIVE-THRU: “Miss, puwedeng take out?”

7. Loipogi - Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: “Please watch ‘The Life Story of Julie Vega’, opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November.”

8. Frederique - In a burger joint I heard a man say: “Miss, isa ngang ‘amusing’ aloha at saka ‘kidney’ meal.” Server: “Dine in po ba or to go?” The man answered: “Ayoko ng sago!”

9. No name - I was making cookies at home when I ran out of cookie sheets, so I called our maid and said: “Manang bili ka nga ng cookie sheet.” And she replied: “Ano po, solo o litro?” (coke is it)

10. Marissa - My friend said: “Ang galing ‘no, yung Ash Wednesday last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!”

11. Jasmin - A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting: “Ma’am bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, ‘Hesus and Company.”

12. No name - While watching “Apollo 13″, after she heard the line: “ Houston , we have a problem.” My ex-girlfriend asked: “Sino si Houston ?”

13. Dukeman - My aunt was going to the US for the 1st time. She told us: “Nagpapabili ang tita niyo ng ‘autistic’ guitar. Saan ba nakakabili nun?”

14. No name - We were marketing for an org event, when one of my orgmates wanted to clear the definition of the types of sponsors (Major, Minor, Patron, etc.) So she asked her grandma: “Lola, anong mas mataas sa Patron?” Her lola replied: “Patron? Eh di Shell!”

15. Ardiepot - Also in a gameshow. Host: “Ano sa Tagalog ang ‘teeth’?” Contestant: “Utong!”

16. Missy Ricat - I once heard an emcee say: “Let’s give her a warm of applause!”

17. Epoy - One classmate in highschool said, “Ang cute naman ng sintas mo, luminou!” I corrected him and said, “luminous!” Then he replied, “Oo nga pala, plural!”

18. No name - Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!!” Pasahero: “Boss, Cubao?”

19. Jen - Sa isang gameshow, tinanong ng host: “Anong ‘P’ ang Tagalog ng ’storey’ o ‘floor’ ng building?” Contestan: “PIP PLOR!”

20. No name - An officemate of ours told us a story about driving alone in her car: “Alam niyo, pag nag-iisa ako, feeling ko…wala akong kasama…”

21. Rome - I had a customer on the line who had a password on his account. I asked for the password but he forgot. I gave him a clue: “It’s a 4-digit number.” He answered, “Uhm…’ROCKY’?”

22. Slowbyslow - I overheard a lady place an order at Starbucks: “One cup of chino please.”

23. Eve - An officemate once asked: “Saan sa Quezon City ang Mandaluyong?”

24. Asht - I had a meeting with a friend and I noticed that both of us were wearing stripes. He suddenly blurted out: “Uy, stripes din! It’s the color of the day!”

25. Ruby - My sister said of our neighbor who was our arch enemy: “Mamatay na sana kapitbahay natin!” I told her not to say that, coz it might bounce back to us. Then she said, “Ah ganun ba yun? In that case, mamatay na sana tayo!”

26. No name - When I saw that I got a missed call, I said, “Hey, I got a missed call!” My friend said, “Anong sabi?”

27. Jonalou22 - From the gameshow “The Weakest Link”. Host Edu Manzano asked: “Anong ‘T’ ang ibinibigay ng konduktor pag nagbayad ka ng pamasahe sa bus?” Ian Veneracion answered: “TUKLI!”

28. Joeygirl - We were reviewing for an exam and we were already dead tired. A classmate said, “Hala, brownout!” Pagtingin namin, nakapikit pala siya.

29. Eliteblood - A call center agent told a foreign customer regarding the changing of the due date of her credit card: “Ma’am, I already changed your monthly period.”

30. Draco’s Biatch - A home economics teacher asked us: “How do you make wet floor and tow duff?” Translation: “How do you make wheat flour and tough dough”.

31. Kate Molds - During a shower party for my friend, the married women were giving tips on the do’s & dont’s of sexual intercourse, when the bride asked: “Hindi ba kasama yung betlog sa pinapasok?”

32. Loi Pogi - Melanie Marquez: “Ang tatay ko lang ang only living legend na buhay pa.”

This statement came from an agent from another company

MANG KEPWENG: (Mang Kepweng was talking with customer and he could not understand customer so he asked customer) COULD YOU REPEAT THAT AGAIN ONE MORE TIME???


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Dami namang Ulit nun..

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