I felt Bad Just now..

I have nothing to do.. I’m just tired of the situation right now. I don’t know if I’m wrong or I’m just doing this because of what I feel. It never happened to me before and that’s one of the hardest parts of my battle. Different Scenarios, I guess I’m just like a virgin on this kind of situation and I’m still thinking what to do next. I hate when my weakness occurs much more when it comes to the point were I can’t think of any solutions. I have bad memory, a bad attitude too he said. When situation becomes more complicated I do unnecessary things such that being a teaser, being paranoid and so jealous. I admit I’m the number one person to talk about when it comes to jealousy and it could be worst than you thought, that’s me nobody could change that except me of course. But trust me I can change everything except for that too bad. I know it’s not right but no one can blame me for being like that. The bad thing about me is just that I became more in love to someone that I couldn’t control myself in some other things and that’s the reason why. And the more it grows it become worst.

I’m hurt, I feel low and sucked up… let me just ask you this question what if someone you love tells you directly he’s busy about his career and then boom suddenly your nothing and your being left out of the blue or should I say out of nowhere. What would you feel? And then will eventually tells you that you’re not showing or doing anything? When you know to yourself that you’ve done everything and you’ve tried to be best or even tried to be perfect. How about this what if he told you “I’m bored talking to you, you’re giving me headaches, blah blah blah. Hearing those kinds of words do you have any guts or would you rather choose to continue or stay? What would you do? What d f*ck!! Well good thing about me I just sob and who cares? I feel really bad about these am I a big HINDRANCE? Tell me? If you don’t like me sticking around then tell me ill try to force myself to stay away if that’s what you want. Well it f*cking shows