Hahaha!!! pigsa pigsa pigsa!!!! ewan ko nga ba kung bakit hindi ka maalis sa aking kapwetan..pilit pnagsisiksikan ang sarili kahit wala naman silbi.. haayyy 6 na beses ang pasakit na inabot...
Una,,,
KATANGIAN: Dying (ung tipong sa sobrang sakit eh parang katapusan na ng buhay mo!!! hanep!)
Grabe ang katangian ng pigsa na toh... First time eh,, kaw ba naman hindi ka patulugin nito ng tatlong araw!! pakiramdam ko naubos luha ko nung mga panahon na yun.. LUfet papampam talaga siya.. amp! ni hindi ako makaupo ng maayos at makalakad daig ko pa ata ang isang kawawang lumpo!! walanjo! lahat na ata ng mga santo natawag ko na sa sobrang sakit!!.. akala tuloy ng mga katrabaho ko patay na ko o kaya nabuntis...nakakahiya mang sabihing pigsa... speaking of that naaalala ko tuloy nuong ako'y inonotify nga aking nanay sa HR namin sa opis tawang tawa ang bruha... ng sabihin ba naman na PIGSA ang dahilan kung bakit wala ako.. hahahanep diba?? eh ano naman?? eh kung sayo kaya nangyari toh noh ewan ko lang kung kung kayanin mo...loka ka! pero syempre joke lang yun!.. pakiramdam ko tlaga katapusan na ng buhay ko nun.. sobrang dasal ko na sana pumutok na sha!!.. kaso talagang hindi pa ata right time.. nakS!! gumaganon pa sha ang drama..
isang gabi hindi ko na ata talaga kinaya!!! at naisipan kong tumayo sa aking kinahihigaan,, (nakadapa) napaisip ako pano pala ako bababa? haha nasa taas pala ako ng double deck namin? hayyss waaaahh!!! nilakasan ko na ang loob ko at ayun wag mo ng tanungin kung pano?.. at kahit ako hindi ko matandaan... basta nakababa ako,mdaling araw na nun.. naghanap ako ng gamot!! awa ng Diyos may nakita naman ako pero syempre tinanong ko pa yun sa nanay ko.. haayyy mahimbing shang natutulog nuon kaya nga tinanong ko sha kung pwede ko ba yun inumin tinanong nya din ako ng "alas dose na ba? cge pwede na" sa isip isip ko magaalastres na nun.. anu un? joke?? ewan ko ba auko naman maghintay pa ng alas dose ulit.. gayong mamamatay na ko sa sakit.. basta ininom ko lang sha agad agad... ayun hanggang sa aakyat na naman ako sa kama kong ubod ng taas...kawawang nilalang...
hanggang sa dumating na ang pinakahihintay kong araw... yahoo!!! pumutok din sha!!! yes!!! .... feeling ko nanalo ako sa lotto ng hindi naman tumataya ni minsan.. para kong naakyat ang mount everest ng ako lang kahit takot ako sa heights... para akong nakapatay ng isang kaaway!!! bwahaha.. daig pa ang new year!!
Ikalawa,,,
KATANGIAN: Shytype (ung tipong hindi ko na namamalayan meron na naman pala parang kabuteng tumubo)
mmhhhh masasabi ko naman na hindi sha ganon katindi kumpara sa nauna..hindi sha ganon kasakit... naku sinasabi ko sayo 2 araw na naman ako hindi nakapasok.. ewan ko nga kung may sswelduhin pa ko eh,, mas marami pa kong absent kesa sa mga ipinasok ko e.. daig ko pa General Manager namin kung magpakita... lagi kase un wala sa opis at kung andun man sha ayun nakatago lang sa kwarto nyang hindi mapapasok basta basta at hindi mo sha makikita... andun nga sha pero parang wala.. nakakahiya naman sabihin na nagkapigsa na naman ako sa pangalawang pagkakataon... tae naman talaga as usual dun parin tumubo.. ang nakakagigil na pigsa... ay naku hindi na nagsawa.. ayun pumutok naman agad hindi nya nga din pinaalam na pumutok na sha akala ko meron ako yun pala pumutok na sha.... mahiyain talaga,,
ikatlo....
KATANGIAN: Unidentical twins (aba nagsabay ang dalawa parang nananadya na ata ah)
akala ko tapos na ang pasakit ko... yun pala tapos agad ang maliligayang araw ko .. aruy! aguy aguy!!! eh kaw ba naman dalawa eh ewan ko n lang kung d pa ko kunin ni Lord nyan...ang masakit pa nyan masabihan ka ng hindi ka naliligo! aray! para sabihin ko sa kanila naliligo ako noh!! every other day nga lang.. niwala ka naman? hindi ah!.. bkit ganon hindi kase ako pinagpapawisan ng matindi,,, sabi pa ng iba tataba daw ako un naman tlaga ang pinakahihintay ko.. pero nagulantang ako ng sabihing sa ikapitong pigsa! walanghiya!! yan pampito pa pala! wala bang tawad? eh nakaka apat palang kaya ako! sa bagay 3 na lang!!! waaaahhhhhh,,, kaya ayoko maniwala sa mga sabi sabi lang.. etong dalawang pigsa pang asar hindi pa sabay pumutok nauna pa yung isa.. para isang sakitan na lang sana...mga walang pakisama!!!
hindi nagtagal tatay ko naman ang pina naman shang tinamaan ng bala sa hita at nasabugan ng dinamita!! naconfine pa nga eh.. ayun dinalaw namin sha..take note may pigsa pako nun... dun kami natulog may 3 kama 2 sa pasyente at isa para sa bantay na malapit sa pinto.. ang lamig.. natakot nga ko nung minsan sa kasarapan ng tulog ko biglang bumukas ung pinto tpos may babaeng nakaputi... napatayo ako sa takot babaeng nakaputi langya akala ko whitelady un pala nurse! magbibigay lang ng gamot!!! d man lang kumatok ang bruha!..
Ikaapat....
KATANGIAN: Small but terrible (kepal)
Masasabi kong ang cute nya tignan dahil maliit sha... kakagigil talga!.. bangis!! anliit liit pero wag ka masagi lang sha ng kung anu... mapapsigaw na ko sa ubod ng sakit,,, oo nga pala... one time nung nakahiga ako patagilid.... at patulog na.. pasaway na kapatid ko hindi nya sadyang hampasin ang pwet ko dahil ewan ko ba kung excited akong makita nya ako galing skul o excited shang makita ko sha.. basta un na yun parang tae lang waaaahhh!!! ayun napasigaw ako sa saket... ewan ko kung matatawa ako o magagalit sa kanya!! hanep talga ung araw na yun.. kirot pa ng kirot kala mo laging tinatamaan hindi naman.. kepal nga... hayyss kelan kaya matatapos toh may dalawa pa ata kase panglima ko na toh... hayy tantanan na nila pwet ko ah...
..hayun anung naiwan sakin? nagiwan pa ng mga souvenir ang mga walanghiya... mahal na mahal ako!..ayan nagiwan ng PEKLAT... yan ang pinaka karumaldumal na hatid nila sakin.. ang saya noh? hindi na nakakatuwa...
TANONG:
1. Anong magandang panlunas sa pigsa?
2. Bakit nagkaroon ng pigsa sa mundo?
3. Anu ano ang mga bagay na naidudulot nito sa tao?
4. Ilarawan at iguhit ang pigsa sa isang maliit na papel.
5. Anong aral ang iyong natutunan? at ilang beses nabanggit ang pigsa?
ill give you 3 minutes to answer that.... timer starts now.. english???
New life.. It’s tough when someone is gone, gone forever; although you need to continue life there’s always something that will remind you of that person.
I have nothing to do.. I’m just tired of the situation right now. I don’t know if I’m wrong or I’m just doing this because of what I feel. It never happened to me before and that’s one of the hardest parts of my battle. Different Scenarios, I guess I’m just like a virgin on this kind of situation and I’m still thinking what to do next. I hate when my weakness occurs much more when it comes to the point were I can’t think of any solutions. I have bad memory, a bad attitude too he said. When situation becomes more complicated I do unnecessary things such that being a teaser, being paranoid and so jealous. I admit I’m the number one person to talk about when it comes to jealousy and it could be worst than you thought, that’s me nobody could change that except me of course. But trust me I can change everything except for that too bad. I know it’s not right but no one can blame me for being like that. The bad thing about me is just that I became more in love to someone that I couldn’t control myself in some other things and that’s the reason why. And the more it grows it become worst.
I’m hurt, I feel low and sucked up… let me just ask you this question what if someone you love tells you directly he’s busy about his career and then boom suddenly your nothing and your being left out of the blue or should I say out of nowhere. What would you feel? And then will eventually tells you that you’re not showing or doing anything? When you know to yourself that you’ve done everything and you’ve tried to be best or even tried to be perfect. How about this what if he told you “I’m bored talking to you, you’re giving me headaches, blah blah blah. Hearing those kinds of words do you have any guts or would you rather choose to continue or stay? What would you do? What d f*ck!! Well good thing about me I just sob and who cares? I feel really bad about these am I a big HINDRANCE? Tell me? If you don’t like me sticking around then tell me ill try to force myself to stay away if that’s what you want. Well it f*cking shows
There is a tiny voice that told me last night I couldn't understand you anymore. You have been awfully quiet for some time now and you have been shutting me off. I can feel you, too, and it is hard for me to understand that you want to go through it alone. We used to be in the same boat struggling over the things but you moved and took a different route. I have always been at your side but this time you opt to differ. I can see your pain and I can feel it, too, not because you are the heart which makes the only one capable of feeling. I am not hard as you sometimes believe me I am. I just have to be like this for both of us, otherwise we would both drown and no one can save us anymore. Heart, why do you keep on beating on the wrong person all the time? Aren't you tired of watching them leave you? Aren't you tired of giving your best and not get anything in return? If you're not, then I am...I am tired of giving you excuses so you wouldn't break. I am tired of saying yes when in fact it is no. I am tired of convincing you when you very well know that I am just lying to make you happy. I am tired of you, for all your broken dreams, your failed relationships and for all your unrequited love. You have so much to give to the person who can never be yours. HEART, weren't you the one who said that you are sore and wounded? So why are you staying when you can just walk away from all these pain that is consuming you? How can you take it HEART? How can you look at his eyes and not see you in his heart? How can you smile when you feel his caress and know that those touches were meant for someone else? How can you be strong when you're feeling weak and helpless? How can you possibly love someone who is in love with another girl? He was never yours to begin with so it would be impossible to have him forever... FOREVER is just a word Heart. There is no such thing as forever just goodbyes as inevitable. I have seen you so excited when he came to our lives. I was just as excited as you were. I wanted to be with the guy we both can love. But he is a dream and dreams end. Tell me, wasn't it good to have a dream everytime you feel like doing so? Like dreams, you have to wake up and face the day. It was enough that he made you feel loved. Just face the reality that someone owns his heart...pushing for it will only make another girl's heart bleed. I have seen you loved, lost, and grieved but never healed. Why Heart? What are you so afraid of? It's time to let go. I know it would be hard... I have never seen you love this way before... so unconditional... of course you have always loved unconditionally but your love for him is different because you wouldn't listen to me. You used your words against me and that makes me feel helpless. I am just hurt as you are because I can't make the pain go away. I can't help you and heal for you... you have to do it alone. You have kept your silence and its deafening. I know you are trying to fool me so I would think you are okay and that I shouldn't worry... you want me to believe that you are not in pain... remember HEART, there is a thin line that connects us and it would be difficult to deceive one and the other of what is really going on... not that is love...
Always your friend, REASON
My Friend Reason,
Thank you for putting up with me while I go through my journey. It is like battling a demon. The battle is within me and something I feel I could not fight. You were right; I have never felt this way before. You know why I said that? It is because I allowed myself to manipulate all the other system that is within my power. I shut all the possibilities that one day, when I look back, this would be my biggest regret. I shut it because I know I would never regret. A love so true has no regrets even if you don't get what you work so hard for... in the end. That is why I disregard the idea that one day I would have to watch him leave and know that deep within me, he is never coming back. He is in deed a dream... a dream I never wish to end. I am holding on to that dream that is why I wouldn't want to let go yet, but holding on for as long as I can doesn't mean holding on forever. I don't believe in forever neither, that is what I used to because you said there is no such thing, but he made me believe in a lot of things and one of them was we can stay this way for eternity. A moment with him is forever for me. Forever might be a word but it exists. It is a place where dreams come true... where hope did not go to oblivion; it is a place where kiss heals wounds, where embrace can take away fears, where touch can take away doubts. That is forever and I believe him because I felt it. We may not last another weeks, another months or even years, but he took me to that place where dates are mere numbers you count on to say to say that this is how long I have him for a moment and that is enough for me through this lifetime. Hopefully I can have him a little longer to lasts another lifetime. Looking back, you and I have been together in everything and I can never keep a secret from you. You are too wise to be fooled. They say wise people are poor in the matters of the heart. I wish to erase that clich�. It is not true that I choose to beat for wrong people. I just do. You should know better that my beating is involuntary. If I could be held within the palm of the hand, then it could be a lot easier not to give any explanation. But I can't be and this makes us human so I keep my feet on the ground... the ground by feeling and hurting. You don't have to make any excuses for me anymore or or to lie to me... because regardless of the tears and pain, I am happy. You asked me how can I take it... it is about loving without expecting to be loved back. I may say one thing but mean another...but when I say I love him... I really do. Love is not blind. It is only by the people who hoped to have more when they already have everything... it is about taking everything including those you hope to take away. I don't have to see myself in his eyes just as long as he sees himself in mine. I don't have to frown when I know his smiles weren't mine just as long as I am smiling because of him and he knows it. I am weak and might be helpless but how many weak and helpless have felt what I am feeling? It is a bliss that no word can contain. To define is to limit the feeling so I just enjoy it. I have loved, lost, and grieved, and yes I haven't healed because I don't want to heal. Healing is as good as forgetting and I wouldn't want to forget. I have moved on the dealt of life equally well despite my handicap so I don't need to heal and forget. Before I end, I want to tell you something you still probably wouldn't understand but I know in time you would come to see it as I did. Love is not getting what you have not even getting what you deserve. It is getting nothing and somehow getting everything. If you see it the way I did, you wouldn't ask anymore and still be wise. Perhaps if you can see again through the same eyes we used to look at before through the same window. Maybe they would say we are the first to break the clich�...
